Whole90...holy crap

Well here I am in front of god and everyone committing to 90 days of Paleo. Starting May 1.

As I've posted, things have not been going great for me, and I miss how great I felt eating Paleo. 30 days unfortunately was not long enough I don't think for some new habits to form. So I'm gonna give it 90 days. So I just typed 90 boys...hmm, wonder what I have on my mind...

ANYWHO....I don't think it is necessary to be all Whole30 about it, I've done that and the experiment was successful and I was able to confirm the benefits. So I am going to TRY tweaking by allowing one TREAT (not going to call it a CHEAT) a week. This allows for wedding cake at my friends wedding later in May. You all know how much I like cake. So, by one treat, I mean one per week. Like not a whole meal or day or event. Just like ONE dessert or ONE piece of bread with my steak and veggies. I am going to try and plan these and totally be OK with it. We'll see how it goes. I may have to ditch this.

My new friends over at Whole9 (Melissa and Dallas) are coming to CF Durham in a few days so I'll see what they have to say about my plan. I'm really excited to meet them.

OK friends - 3-2-1 go!

P.S. How could I forget - I'm famous!

http://www.crossfit.com/cf-affiliates/2010/04/thursday_100429.html

Fun

It is so important to have fun in whatever exercise you choose to do. I think so often we get caught up in the end result and do not remember to enjoy ourselves. It does not matter if you like Crossfitting or swimming or dancing around in your living room; as long as you enjoy it. If you do, you are more likely to keep at it. That is the most important part. I say this because on Thursday, I had fun. I mean seriously laughing and was sad when we stopped fun. At Durham we have these harnesses that are attached to a handle that looks like they should be pulling a water skier. One person gets in the harness and runs the other person holds the handle and slows them down... a lot. It is seriously fun. It is fun to be on either end or to watch. Especially when it is Rich (155lbs) trying to hold back Nagle (220lbs). I am going to try to have more fun. Will you?

Oh how the mighty have fallen...

Not that I'm mighty or anything, but I really wanted to write that as my blog title. It has been floating in my head for the last week or so.

I fell people. Far far from the wagon and hard. FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL ditty FAIL FAIL.

Its only fair I think that I post when things are not going well. I'm human and things suck for me occasionally. Sometimes more than occasionally. But today I realized that I didn't lose more than a hundred pounds because everything went smoothly. I've done this because I push through the craptacular parts and keep going. Climb back on the wagon. Pet the horse and give the horse a sugar cube. BUT DO NOT STOP.

How did I fall? It really doesn't matter. We all fall for different reasons. Mine happens to be stress and sadness. I can't deal well with these things. I hate being sad or disappointed. I don't know how to feel these things in an appropriate manner. And I don't drink. I don't do drugs. So I eat. And then I isolate and then it gets worse and its a terrible cycle.

But you know what? I can't crossfit and eat crap and certainly can't stay sad and crossfit. I really really like crossfitting so something had to give. I asked for help people. I don't ask for help. Its just not what I do. But I asked and guess what? My crossfit friends helped me. Supported me and reminded me I was a badass. Picked my ass up and took me to the gym.

So I WOD'd today. And felt better instantly. INSTANTLY.

I didn't leave the gym and magically all of my problems were solved, but I at least felt connected again and may have stopped the cycle.

So bottom line friends - if you crossfit, look around you. These people care about you. And they will support you when you are feeling nothing short of craptagious (feeling crappy is contagious I think - did you like that one?). Ask for help and keep going friends. Forgive yourself and remember you are in for the long haul.

Are you listening to this Melinda?

I eat hamburgers, fries and cupcakes

So this weekend I saw my friend Murph kick super duper ass in women's professional tackle football. I think that is what it is called. It was awesome. I would NEVER want to do this - I would rather not get hit and dragged and stomped on, but good gracious - more power to you Murph - you were awesome to watch. Murph did the stomping and dragging - the poor visiting team didn't stand a chance. I think they won 49 - 0. I don't know much about football, but I know that was a serious win.

Anywho - shout out to Murph and her teammates at http://carolinaphoenixfootball.com/.

After watching Murph kick ass, we went to Chili's. I love burgers at Chili's. Reminds me of home for some reason. I ordered myself the Shiner Bock BBQ burger - it had cheese and onion strings and BBQ sauce and IT WAS AWESOME. I also had fries. And this my friends, is called living. I did not toil over how "bad" this food was or how so not paleo it was, I just ate it. Because I wanted to and I feel fine doing so in moderation. This last part is a learning process. I don't do moderation. I never have. In anything. Go big or go home. So moderation in my diet is something new I need to figure out. Its slippery for me - because so easily I can slip back into bad habits. I've worked too hard to let that happen though. For this reason, and the fact that I feel a little lost without structure, I'm pretty sure I'm going to do another Whole30 type commitment soon.

Oh yeah, and a couple of days ago, I was out of town and found a CUPCAKE store. Oh yes. I did indeed eat cupcakes. And there wasn't even a baby or wedding anywhere. Cupcake eating with reckless abandon. OK, it wasn't that reckless - I had 4 baby cupcakes. Thats right, I said 4. Too many flavors to choose from (cookies and cream - had oreos in it, coconut, triple chocolate and red velvet) so I took one of each. And I ate them all. I had myself a little party and I was the only one invited. I have said this before and I will say it again, cupcakes are like little sugar angels, and everyone needs them in their lives. Until we meet again cupcake...

Damn Frailty

I gave up sugar for Lent. I spent 7 weeks dreaming of cupcakes. As soon as Easter hit I devoured all sorts of different kinds of sweets. Needless to say I got sick. I felt like I had a sugar hangover for 2 days. Ick, it was awful. I decided to give myself until today (one week) to eat things I would not eat in order to be a better Bea. Today is suppose to be the "tighten up" day (as Mandy would say). I now have allergy induced bronchitis. Ahh, the coughing, wheezing,stinging lungs, and sexy voice. Okay that last one is kind of fun. I get bronchitis once a year (I have chronic bronchitis). I thought I had escaped it this year (it usually comes during the winter months); but no, it just came later than expected. Damn pollen! Oh well.... I guess my quest to be a super Bea will be on hold for a week or so. One good thing, even though I felt like I had fiberglass in my lungs I got a PR on my 500 meter row. I am definitely going to give it another shot as soon as my lungs are in good shape again. I bet I can drop even more time. :)

I guess I'll still post stuff

So I could post about really important things like how it was the 6 year anniversary of my brothers death on Friday and I did not eat my weight in pizza and chocolate to make it through the day. Or I could post about what an awesome support system crossfit has helped me build. Or I could post about how I made it through Easter relatively unscathed and back on the wagon (minus some serious revolt from my body a couple of times).

No, I am going to post about this photo. I earned a crossfit battle scar and that makes me feel good. Its been a long time since I have earned one. But its like a badge of honor. What is not shown here is the flap of skin I had to tear off.

We had to do 30 dumbbell overhead things, 40 dynamic pushups and 50 pull ups. First of all, rx weight for the dumbbell was 22.5. I did 20lbs but probably could have done the 22.5. I had the 15's nearby and did not go to them once. The dynamic pushups I did at an angle on the bottom of the pull up bar. I did this because last time I gave myself the most terrible road rash EVER and then there were lots of jokes about how my knees got road rash... har har people. Anywho - I think doing them on the bar was better because you had a target to reach with your chest. I could have had a fuller range of motion, but I tell you what, those were really tough after the dumbbell things.

So to the point of the post. BLUE BAND BITCHES! I own that blue band now. Me and blue, we're through. I've gotta step it up to the red. I said a lot of bad words and things that are very uncharacteristic of me, but I was kind of proud of myself because I had that red band next to me to add to it - but I didn't. It took me awhile to finish - I was the last one in my heat, but I did all 50 on the blue band and I felt really good about this. I think my Feb goal was to do 10 in a row. I certainly didn't do all 50 in a row, in fact it got to one or two at a time at the end, but I did them all on the blue band. I can remember doing something similar - I think Angie - which is 100 pull ups on the tan band and feeling super proud of that too. I really want to be able to do just one pull up. Maybe by the end of the year.

Oh and I did a couple of handstands. I love handstands. Every day is better with a handstand.

These are the kinds of days that I like to say damn it feels good to be a gangsta.