I fell people. Far far from the wagon and hard. FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL ditty FAIL FAIL.
Its only fair I think that I post when things are not going well. I'm human and things suck for me occasionally. Sometimes more than occasionally. But today I realized that I didn't lose more than a hundred pounds because everything went smoothly. I've done this because I push through the craptacular parts and keep going. Climb back on the wagon. Pet the horse and give the horse a sugar cube. BUT DO NOT STOP.
How did I fall? It really doesn't matter. We all fall for different reasons. Mine happens to be stress and sadness. I can't deal well with these things. I hate being sad or disappointed. I don't know how to feel these things in an appropriate manner. And I don't drink. I don't do drugs. So I eat. And then I isolate and then it gets worse and its a terrible cycle.
But you know what? I can't crossfit and eat crap and certainly can't stay sad and crossfit. I really really like crossfitting so something had to give. I asked for help people. I don't ask for help. Its just not what I do. But I asked and guess what? My crossfit friends helped me. Supported me and reminded me I was a badass. Picked my ass up and took me to the gym.
So I WOD'd today. And felt better instantly. INSTANTLY.
I didn't leave the gym and magically all of my problems were solved, but I at least felt connected again and may have stopped the cycle.
So bottom line friends - if you crossfit, look around you. These people care about you. And they will support you when you are feeling nothing short of craptagious (feeling crappy is contagious I think - did you like that one?). Ask for help and keep going friends. Forgive yourself and remember you are in for the long haul.
Are you listening to this Melinda?
It happens to all of us. I will pick you up when ever you need me to.
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