I fell people. Far far from the wagon and hard. FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL ditty FAIL FAIL.
Its only fair I think that I post when things are not going well. I'm human and things suck for me occasionally. Sometimes more than occasionally. But today I realized that I didn't lose more than a hundred pounds because everything went smoothly. I've done this because I push through the craptacular parts and keep going. Climb back on the wagon. Pet the horse and give the horse a sugar cube. BUT DO NOT STOP.
How did I fall? It really doesn't matter. We all fall for different reasons. Mine happens to be stress and sadness. I can't deal well with these things. I hate being sad or disappointed. I don't know how to feel these things in an appropriate manner. And I don't drink. I don't do drugs. So I eat. And then I isolate and then it gets worse and its a terrible cycle.
But you know what? I can't crossfit and eat crap and certainly can't stay sad and crossfit. I really really like crossfitting so something had to give. I asked for help people. I don't ask for help. Its just not what I do. But I asked and guess what? My crossfit friends helped me. Supported me and reminded me I was a badass. Picked my ass up and took me to the gym.
So I WOD'd today. And felt better instantly. INSTANTLY.
I didn't leave the gym and magically all of my problems were solved, but I at least felt connected again and may have stopped the cycle.
So bottom line friends - if you crossfit, look around you. These people care about you. And they will support you when you are feeling nothing short of craptagious (feeling crappy is contagious I think - did you like that one?). Ask for help and keep going friends. Forgive yourself and remember you are in for the long haul.
Are you listening to this Melinda?