Monday, June 27, 2011


The funny thing about the mirror is that you do not see yourself the way others do. I mean sure you are backwards but its more than that. Yesterday's post did not teach me to love myself more. It actually, had an unexpected outcome, for me at least. The one part that I did not even think twice about writing was the part that surprised me when it came from others. I am of course talking about the last little paragraph. The paragraph where we all provided links to everyone's page that was participating in the blog post. We each stated a couple of things we thought about the others. This part was tacked on kind of as a last minute idea by Nelly. It was a good idea.

It was good for two reasons. The first being obvious, to show us how easy it is to say nice things about your friends but how ridiculously hard it is to say them about yourself. The second reason is that we got to read how our friends see us. For me, it was a bit of a shocker: Oh! Really? That is how you see me?

The comments were kind and I found myself arguing with them in my head. Coming up with reason why their praises were really not that big of a deal or warranted at all.

I got a phone call from one of my closest friends a little later in the day. This call was unrelated to the post (or at least I think it was). She said: "I think it is stupid for you to continue to wait until you are down to your ideal weight for you to have your make over". (Or something to that affect.... I know stupid was in there). She then told me that I was cute. Which was very nice and I am not sure when the last time I was called cute was. Maybe when I was 6. Needless to say I do not see myself that way. I think of myself as fat and kind of plain looking.

Today the girl in the cube next to me (who is a little 20 something hottie) told me that "I want to be tiny like you."
Tiny? I am not tiny. Maybe tiny in height but not over all tiny. And that is when it hit me. The friend that called me to tell me that I was wasting valuable time waiting to be my ideal was right. I probably will not ever be ideal.

So, I am going to go ahead and play the part. Even though I do not feel badass or tiny, I can dress like I do. Maybe dressing the part will help me feel that way. I will be handing myself over to my friend and letting her look through my closet so she can make me into a girl.

1 comment:

  1. Dressing that way definitely helps! I think you are FANTASTIC exactly the way you are! All of those things you hate? They made you who you are. I like who you are. Don't forget it. Let's play dress up!