Day 3

I am going to warn you (mostly Husband) that this post is going to be on multiple topics. Rich does not like when I ramble, but when has that ever stopped me? Maybe if I segregate it in an orderly fashion he will be happier. We shall see.

First topic: Today is day 3 of no grains. I have been surprisingly good. I have not had any grains in the last 3 days and I have not curled up in a little ball and died. I had a coworker get very upset about the fact that I was doing this and actually raise her voice at me a little. She was not mean, more passionate about her love of whole grains. I agree with a certain person, that will remain nameless because they have given me shit about calling people out in my blog ;) . "You do not need grains. They taste delicious, but you do not need them."

I might regret saying this later.... but I feel surprisingly well. I have not had any tummy issues in the last 3 days. You might be thinking: Wow Bea (pronounced "B"), that is not much of a stretch. But it is. I have a lot of tummy issues. I discovered earlier this year that the reason I get so sick after drinking 2 beers is not because I am a light weight. (Yes, I know am a light weight but that is not why I get sick) I get sick because I have an intolerance to barley. No problem, there is always tequila.

Barley is a sneaky bastard. People throw barley flour in random things all the time. I have no idea why. I mean really... Who thinks: "You know what this bagel needs... Barley flour"? Einstein bagel, that's who.

Today seems to be going a lot smoother. The bread fairy must have taken today off. I have not found copious amounts of grain products at every turn. Not having it everywhere does make it easier not to eat it. {(Wow, that sentence has a lot of its in it. The knights that say "Ichy Ichy Kabang" would be cringing on the floor.) I totally did that on purpose, just for you babe. :) }

Second topic: Being a human takes a lot of work. Being a human girl takes even more work. I do not like all the work it takes to be a girl. You have to shave and straighten your hair and wear makeup and match. It is exhausting just to think about. I have better things to do with my time.

My mom tried to make me more of a girl but I have always been like this.
"Bea why don't you go play dolls with Sara."
"No thanks, I am going to go play capture the flag with Andy Booth while we shoot each other with paint balls instead".

I even had a cotillion. I wish I could find the picture of me in the big, white, floofy dress with my long white gloves. I look so not amused to be there.

Living in North Carolina takes even more work. You actually have to moisturize here. I grew up in Florida where there is enough water just hanging out in the air to moisturize your skin. I do not understand people who say: "but it’s a dry heat". Like that is a good thing? All that means is that you are walking around feeling like a prune most days.

I guess that is all I have for right now.