Monday, March 15, 2010

Holy Hundred!

Well I did it. I finally did it. I have officially lost over one hundred pounds.

No surgery. No magic pill. No easy quick fixes.

But it is simple: good nutrition and exercise (and a healthy dose of determination, sprinkled with good support).

This milestone comes with a bunch of mixed emotions. I feel very very proud of myself and very happy to see how I've changed - and not just physically. But I also feel alot of shame about letting this happen in the first place. Trying really hard not to feel the shame, but posting the before pics are super hard.

Have I lost weight before? Sure. Alot of weight? Sure. Not this much though. I had never been this heavy before either. To be honest, thinking back to being almost 300 pounds (I know - here is the shame again), you can go either one way or the other. You can either totally give up and just get ginormous or you can decide to fight "it". You know what "it" is? I think "it" is the 300 pound mark. I think 300 pounds maybe feels like the point of no return. Like there is no way you can be healthy again because you have too far to go.

I don't know what clicked or what happened to make me decide to make a change. I wish I could remember so I could hold onto that. I do know a couple of things that jump started me into a new lifestyle (that is what Dave says I have - a new lifestyle - Dave is my BFF at crossfit).

First, I did a 30 day challenge (hmm, kind of like what I am in the middle of). I went vegan for 30 days. I psyched myself up, cleaned out my cupboards, the whole nine yards. And I did it. 30 days and lost about 30 pounds and learned how to eat real, good, nutritious food and lost a bunch of bad habits. Eventually I went on to be vegetarian, then missed meat and went on to weight watchers where I still am today.

The other thing that jump started me was the introduction to crossfit. You should read my post about my first experience at crossfit - I think it is one of the earlier posts on here.

Anywho - the point is that Dave and Greg never made me feel like I did not belong. THAT IS KEY! I think when you are big, you never really feel like it is OK for you to be anywhere.

I also really like crossfit which obviously helps. I like everything about it. The intensity, the ability to have adult play time (handstands!!!!), the variety, but most importantly the community. My crossfit friends are so so so influential. But not in a bad way. I firmly believe you adopt the habits of those you choose to associate with. I can't thank you guys enough. Your support and encouragement and frankly the fact that you tell me not to sandbag means so much to me. Not to mention the countless times you tell me I am badass. I like to be badass.

If you are wondering how I let this happen to myself - well I could tell you my sad song, but really, all my song is, is an excuse. I wish I wouldn't have let this happen, but I wish I didn't have a dead brother too. Stuff happens.

It scares me to think it will come back. My bad habits are deeply deeply rooted. But this time, this weight loss, is for me by me. Not for some dude or some other stupid reason, but for me. It's really all about me. Lets face it, if you can't make your life all about you, then it's not really your life is it?

I still have a ways to go, but as my friend Lei said to me, "time to ride the nutrition train to fitness land". Agreed Lei.

P.S. Today starts Week 3 of Paleo. Can't believe it. It's not been as hard as I thought it was going to be.

P.S.S. Posting my before pics and then an after pic of me in some pants I was wearing not even at my heaviest (hi there shame, there you are again). I apparently didn't take many pictures back then, imagine that.

P.S.S.S. About a year and a half people. No quick fixes.


  1. you're awesome. seriously. just awesome. love you!

  2. girl....don't feel any shame...feel straight up pride! you have done what so many only wish they can do.......major, major props to you. keep on keeping on!!!

  3. This is inspirational. You are awesome.

  4. i just dug up your first post since you mentioned it... which made me curious.... has anything changed with your ability to run and your hip issue?

  5. Amazing!! No shame, keep being a badass (in glitter converses!)


  6. also, i noticed this:

    Melinda said...
    Thanks guys! Can we have a party at 100 down?

    AUGUST 4, 2009 10:38 AM

    Seems like a party is in order....

  7. simply fantastic. thanks so much for sharing this. you rock!

  8. Michael! Holy crap - I totally just re-read that post. I have come along way. AND NO HIP PAIN ANYMORE. I can totally run with no pain. I still totally hate it, but I can do it! A party is in order!

    Thank you thank you everyone! I had no idea this would impact anyone at all!

  9. Simply inspirational. Would be a disservice if you didn't share this! Thanks!

  10. Would you like a party after the 30 days?

  11. Mo - Thanks so much for sharing your blog. I'm so proud of you and not just because you're my daughter. That's a given, but I'm proud of all that you have done for yourself and for your health. Your willingness to share the journey with others is powerful. I know you've helped yourself, but if your words are encouraging to anyone else, then that's even better.

    Love you,

  12. Hi Mo, What a great example! Thank you for sharing and I too, am proud of you. Perhaps your achievment will rub off on your parents, so thank you also, for the incentive.


  13. Job Well done!! Keep up the good work.
    Be Strong!

  14. You go girl! About 5 years ago I was also a few biscuits shy of 300. I too just reached my 100lb loss mark. Been there done that, now wear the CrossFit t-shirt! Keep up the good work. I know the struggle and you are exactly right, surround yourself with those that have the same goals and you will succeed. Congrats!

    CrossFit Integrity, Charleston, SC

  15. There is no place for "shame" in your life ... think only of how much you have accomplished ... you are amazing and inspiring...the CrossFit community is accepting and helps to motivate us but you are the one who did the work to get where you are!

    CrossFit Swarm, Westfield, MA

  16. "Shame" is only something you should feel if you would've given up on yourself. Stand tall and walk proud for you are a true inspiration to the rest of us. Continue to tell your story, it will help safe someone else's life.

    CrossFit DoneRight, Rockville, MD

  17. Wow! You ARE an inspiration!! Great job and WELL DONE!! Keep on trekking!!

    Rea Colby
    Member of Crossfit Saratoga

  18. Congratulations from South Tahoe Crossfit. You are a bad ass!

  19. You are so awesome...I am 18 pounds away from reaching my goal of 100 pounds lost. I can't wait for that victory dance. I LOVE my CrossFit and couldn't do it with them. Great Job.

  20. i feel shame is something about your past, you should be only proud of yourself!!

    i love your story and it will help me not to find excuses!

    enjoy your life as you're doing now!
    cheers from italy

    elena rondinini

  21. proud to have you as part of the crossfit community! keep rockin'!

  22. Nice work!

    Trainer at CrossFit One Spirit

  23. duuuuuude! I don't know how I never saw this post until now! totally awesome, ridiculously amazing - you, my dear, are a bona fide to-the-core badass. keep it up!

  24. Loved hearing your story, and have happily subscribed to your blog. I'm in the same boat as you were... 100+ pounds to lose, and new to Crossfit.

    I was a little discouraged by success stories I was reading yesterday where several women went from 20ish% body fat down to the mid-teens. I'm glad for them... and I know all CrossFit successes are relative, but geez, I'm coming from a much different place.

    So, thank you for sharing a perspective I can relate to. I also started a blog to record my Crossfit journey, but I haven't been brave enough to share it with members of my gym yet (except my coach). However, I hope you'll feel free to stop by any time:

    Take care -- I'm rooting for you!

  25. Awesome! You are SO worthy of your new body and your new lifestyle just remember that. You DESERVE to put yourself first, to love yourself, to be proud of yourself and to be a badass sexy Crossfit chick. GOOD FOR YOU!
    PS: There is no shame is screwing happened, so what -- NEXT! My question to you is this: When life throws you another freaking curve, like it always does, how are you going to deal with it? What is your new method of coping with loss, grief, stress? Get that plan in place as soon as you can. I am sure that you will have the support of your Crossfit family and that is HUGE but when they are not at home with you and you are struggling, what will you do?

    I stole this from a friend's Facebook post today: "If I were asked to give what I consider the single most useful bit of advice for all humanity it would be this: Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and when it comes, hold your head high, look it squarely in eye and say, 'I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me.'” Ann Landers

    Amen sista, you go get 'em honey!


  26. Wow! Wow! Wow! Thank you for staying the course and winning this goal! Awsome! I know Crossfit saves lives!

  27. YOU GO GIRL!!! You are totally inspiring to me. I started my Crossfit journey two years ago this coming October. I lost almost 50 pounds, then found out I needed to have major surgery. That set me back 3 months, and almost 20 pounds. After returning to XF, I have had a terrible time trying to lose more weight. However, we started a Paleo Challenge almost 2 weeks ago, and I JUST got into a size 18 YESTERDAY, after 9 years. I can't see looking back because incorporating Paleo has been my only means of succesful weight loss. I'm looking forward to my first legit pull up. I've just done 7 double-unders for the first time since my ONE DU MONTHS AGO. This is an exciting, lifelong journey, and I'm so glad you are on it too!

  28. I am so inspired by you. I've been doing CrossFit for about 8 months and have nothing but strength gains to show for it. My weight hasn't really changed much because my eating habits didn't change. I'm now on day 2 of eating in the Zone and it's going pretty good so far. Looking forward to see that scale move on down!

    Thank you for sharing your story and the pics. The pictures are what really helps make it sink in for me. You are a beautiful woman regardless of what the scales say, but you are even more so as a fellow CrossFitter!

  29. Wow! I have never read your blog before & stumbled across via crossfits affiliate page. So glad I did. Tears came to my eyes as I read your story. I can relate so much as I have dealt with the same issues. Topping the scales at 320 after my 2nd child. I could not grasp what I needed to do next. I felt like a failure & even though there was alot of me, I felt like a nothing. I'm down 80lbs with lots more to go but I wouldn't be here without the crossfit community & all of their support. Having gone to globo gyms during my many weight loss efforts, I always felt like I didn't belong & like an outsider. I have NEVER felt like that in any crossfit box or at any crossfit cert. Even though I am still not at my 'ideal' weight. Crossfit has taught me that I am strong, I am worth it & I can do anything.

  30. Good for you! I like your comment about "no surgery, no magic pills"....congratulations on all your hard work and your fantastic results.

  31. it's amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  32. Melinda,

    my daughter-in-law sent me a link to your post as an inspiration to me. I am a 53 y/o guy in a high stress job and travel internationally 4 nights a week, 46 weeks a year.

    I started on this on June 6 2009; I weighed 294

    I was taking:

    3 medications for my diabetes (actos, glyburide & metformin)
    1 for a homocystene deficiency (metanx)
    1 for high blood pressure (albutolol)
    1 for high cholesterol (lipitor)
    1 for my adult adhd (vynase)
    1 for inflamation (meloxicam)
    1 to sleep (ambien) as my knee pain wouldn't let me sleep through the night
    1 for Overactive Bladder but I can't remeber the name.

    ...all but one are gone from life as of april 28th…. guess what’s left…with a little hard work the last will be gone within 6 months (sooner I hope).

    Pant size 6/6/09 46 (tight)and some 48s…I even once wore a 50 (though I tore off the label so no one would know).

    4/27-- 36 Tight & 38 comfortable.

    hey…I have a lot more limitations than most but I feel more blessed than most as well.

    Thanks to Victor, Dani,Victor & Cecilia S, Adam, Sarah, Bobby, Carlos, Ryan, Danny C … and especially Danny, Mo & Desi (amor de mi existencia)... all from Crossfitkindom in Miami...there are too many more to mention.

    I now weigh 216 & have changed my outlook on life as well as my body shape; all with Crossfit & the Zone diet... now I am transitioning to Paleo. When on the road I pick up my wods from, & from links on their web-sites.

    my goal was to get to 194 by 6/6/10 but now I think that reaching the number by that date just to get there is irresponsible. So far the weight loss has been slow & steady... sustainable... I've not been hungry once...If I accelerate it I am concerned about a set back...anyway...enough of this.

    Melinda, you are an inspiration to me. I encourage you to continue... and let me know how you're doing.

  33. Melinda-
    You are amazing! Your journey has only begun. You have a full life of possibility. With your improved health and confidence, you can do ANYTHING. Time to put that shame in a box, seal it tight, and move onward. Enjoy the new day. Make it yours.


    I'm so overwhelmed by the response to that post on the affiliate page. It is awesome, don't get me wrong, but holy cow!

    This blog is a great outlet for me, but to know that it has reached people and inspired change - well that is just incredible. I will read this post and all of the comments whenever I am in a bad place.

    And I do, need to get a plan for those times that it is hard. And it is hard people. Its hard everyday. But I will keep on keepin on.

    Thanks again for all the support!!!

  35. Inspired Crossfitter-Jessica McLeishApril 30, 2010 at 11:03 AM

    Fantastic Job! No Shame in Your Game!

  36. You are an inspiration. NO shame in that.

  37. Wow you're amazing!!

  38. HI!!!
    Nice words, very motivating.

    I´m from Chile and i´ve been a year doing the wods.
    I would like to know if you can gave me your permission to translate this post to the spanish and publicate it in a funcional tranning blog.

    E-mail me at:


  39. I've started blogging again on my own blog. Check it out! I'll need lots of encouragement!